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Marriages are breaking down in the West. The older I have got the more I am in favour of monoganous marriage for the simple reason that I care for the children. The 60s have produced all kinds of picadillos concerning relationship. The sexual freedom gained through contraception has led to a weakening of society because of the weakening marriage not proviing a basis for children. People should not be slaves in their marriages but equally marriage with children is not simply an extension of a one night stand.

Strength in a marriage can come from mutual listening and respect, but I suggest that longevity in marriages comes from fear, mutual convenience and social imposition. Sexual desire is often the cause of marriage breakdown (or is it the final straw?), and yet on paper it is the easiest to resolve mutually. Get married with aview to being faithful. In marriage listen to each other’s needs and attempt to fulfil them. Don’t bring any demands to the bed.

It is usually the man who wanders, shouldn’t this be an indication that a man’s sexual needs are more demanding? If the man’s sexual desire is not being met in a marriage, questions need to be asked of the relationship; it is as simple as that. Why does the woman marry if she is not willing to have a sexual relationship with the man? It seems that the man’s needs are not being taken into account because of the history of oppression by men. It appears that a woman is saying “satisfy me” because men in the past have simply demanded sex. But they do not seem to accept the counter-position, that they are in a relationship in which both partners need to be satisfied. And a man’s desire for sex in my view is stronger than a woman’s.

So when society is pressuring teenagers to have sex I am calling that socialised imposition legalised rape, and yet in marriage I am saying that a woman has a sexual duty. It sounds contradictory, and I am satisfied with that apparent contradiction because these matters are not easy.

But what I do consider unfair is that a man falls in love, in that state of love has children and provides a house etc., and because the woman has prioritised herself as a mother, does not satisfy the man who then goes outside the marriage. This affair breaks up the marriage, he loses access to his children, he loses his home, and must make payments for his children, because the woman has not upheld the implicit end of her bargain. The courts automatically award the home to the woman, often restrict the man’s access because he is angry. This is an injustice.

Most men are conditioned chauvinists and society needs to defend the women and children against them but it is not always the case. It is hard to decide who is right or wrong because all men and women are in the problem – they are not detached.

When I read this feminist charter, I go back to what women were saying to me 30 years ago. Yet sexual relationships have moved on. Maybe the workplace has not changed but in the home men continually lose out whether justified or not. It seems to me that women want control of both the workplace and the home, they already mostly have control of the home.

Once there is marriage there are children and the relationship between man and woman changes; he is displaced. For that marriage to work – work meaning that they successfully bring up the children together – the man has to accept this changing role, and devote himself to the maintenance of the family. In doing this he must work to bring in the money to maintain the family. A man should do this, he should have that discipline but many don’t. In a promiscuous western society men often stray, have affairs, break up their family and lose their homes. In this situation what does the woman have to accept? Bringing up the children and looking after the home. Isn’t that what she wanted in the first place? So the compromise that she must accept is to keep the man happy. Before the feminist movement women did this well, and men exploited them for it. Since the feminist movement this compromise has been fulfilled less, and there have been more breakdowns in marriage. Women provide the glue in the marriage, with feminism the strength of this glue has been weakened. It would be wrong to return to the pre-feminist exploitation but it is not wrong to question the level of compromise that is required in marriages.

Are the affairs just men losing discipline? It is understandable that women prioritise their affections towards the children but it appears for some men this prioritising appears exclusive attention towards the children. Disillusioned with his one-and-only the man seeks affection elsewhere, and being a man he is led by his desire and has promiscuous affairs. Whilst not acceptable, in some cases this might be understandable – a man should have discipline. But what does he lose? The home that he has worked for, and various levels of access to his children; in some cases this could be unfair.

A woman’s forte is the emotional arena. A man loves but has no control, women control their emotions and the emotional entanglements. Whilst a man might be physically stronger he is by far emotionally the weaker, and in the home emotions are usually the interplay medium. The man’s love is pulled left, right and centre by the woman for her own agenda, to be fair that agenda is usually the children; and the man has little control of this emotional struggle. For many weak men this leads to estrangement, sometimes within the relationship and sometimes without; but years ago (pre-feminism) to regain that control men turned to violence. For me that is unacceptable but it is understandable. What we now have in society is a complete rejection of the physical violence leaving the emotional arena to be controlled by the woman, leaving the man emasculated – powerless. For a man interaction with women leaves him permanently on the losing side. Within the relationship the woman knows the emotional arena is hers, many years ago such control misused would lead to male violence; now that violence is controlled she could run roughshod over the emotions. For a good woman such emotional control would be gently used, how many do this?

Temptation and desire – I find this very difficult temptation and desire as being mutually equal. Consider this example. A young men goes out on the pull. The guys go out for some beers, end up at a pulling place – club, dance etc. They look around and try to get some woman to dance, a bit of smooching, and then leave together – pulled. At this point he is trying to get as far as he can get sexually.

I don’t know how women feel in this situation – I can only guess. This drunk asks her to dance, he is handsome but how drunk is he? What is he after? She dances and avoids the worst of his drunken lunges. Behind his drunkenness she sees something she likes, and works out how to escape that night to meet him when he is sober. And then there is further courtship during which the young man is trying to get sex, and the woman fends him off trying to decide whether this man is a keeper.

There are so many “courtship” scenarios but in none of them is the motivation the same, the desire the same.
Honey traps, gold diggers, the majority of prostitution, all of these play on men’s desires. In other words a man’s physical desire for a woman can be used by the women to take advantage financially. The opposite equivalent are toy-boys and occasional male escorts, but proportionately these numbers are not equal.

Historically female strippers have been a regular phenomenon, over the last 30 years Chippendales and others have appeared, and women give in to their baser desires. But I don’t get the feeling that these women are seeking to buy sex, I feel the male strippers is a social thing. With men and strippers the men have to be restrained from sexually assaulting them. I am reminded of a phrase used by Lucy Liu in Ally McBeal – the dumbstick, men governed by desire – by dumbsticks. I assess that as a generalisation in courtship men are continually fighting temptation whereas women are fighting off unwanted attention.

This is simplistic but in my view is much nearer the truth than suggesting that the desires of women and men are of a parity. There is a populist book “Men are from Mars women are from Venus”, whilst I have not read it this book clearly points to the notion that desires are different, and if society is to maintain stable relationships these differences have to be rationalised and satiated.

Most affairs that break up families involve men, I have alluded to that already. Why don’t married women have affairs? It is not as commonplace, I assess that this is because of different desires. A man seeks love as passion, lust, and romance, a woman seeks love as security, home and family – needing a provider. For a woman these desires militate against an affair, as such it is not clear why a woman would have an affair. But for a man who has been replaced by the children in the affection of his love for life, his lust would take him to seek gratification outside marriage. Whilst he should have discipline, in a western society where male promiscuity is not chastised – if not encouraged the less discerning men get led by the dumbstick. And they are punished for it by losing their home, access to the children and child-care payments.

What I am trying to get at is the power of male desire, and in a society where there is no moral control there is a vulnerability of men to this desire. Lucy Liu’s dumbstick description accurately depicts that vulnerability. Yet for the most part this vulnerability is not recognised. When it turns to crime such as rape or domestic violence society rightly quickly protects the woman but up to that point society commercialises and aggrandises that age, flaunts images to inflame the desire, and then expects the man to exert control. The power this desire has over a man and the ensuing vulnerability needs to be recognised, and not simply dismissed as chauvinist and ignorant, and in that recognition there needs to be a moral element of control. Remove the titillation and teach control.

But at the same time women need educating into recognising this vulnerability. We quite rightly support women because they are vulnerable to violence, but when a man loses power to his vulnerability some women seek to exploit that vulnerability to extort favours. If a man were extorting favours there would be condemnation because of the tradition of exploitation shown by men – pre-feminism. But when a woman exploits the man’s sexual vulnerability – exploiting the dumbstick, this is socially acceptable. Rather than being educated to accept the man’s desire as part of the give and take of marriage, the man’s vulnerability is recognised as a means of getting what the woman wants – the woman’s emotional arena. This is exploitation and needs to be recognised as such, and socially frowned on.

So now to the feminist charter that started this. There are undoubtedly tremendous truisms in this charter, the feminist movement is led by women – and not by men, men should be supportive especially in dealing with other men. When it comes to women’s bodies they must listen to women, and quote women rather than proffering a personal opinion that can have no basis in experience. The charter concludes with this:-

“Going forward, men need to take the next step: challenge and dismantle their preconceived notions and stereotypes of women and gender identity. They can and should do this while affirming the leadership of the many women who have paved the way.”

What are the preconceived notions? On this page dismantle their preconceived notions, there is an excellent poem by Bhatti but the page itself basically argues for the woman’s right to be “sexual”. What does “sexual” mean? In the case of a woman doesn’t it mean appealing to men on a sexual basis? Commercially this is what men want, part of the western consumerism of objectifying women as sexual objects to sell products etc. These men also encourage the affect it has on men’s desires, and then a man has to control himself because there might not be a way of fulfilling those desires. The feminist view is that a man should be able to control himself, but those feminists do not experience the desires the way men do – in effect this is woman saying how a man should feel in his body. But it is not feminists I want to think about this but all women. When a woman dresses up to be attractive, how does she dress up? I have seen a number of attractive Muslim women dressed up – not when they dress in a western way, but the way they dress does not have to be sexual but is attractive. I am sure their bodies are sexy but whether they are or not is surely an issue in the bedroom – and not for display throughout society. In many societies respectable women dress in an attractive way, it does not make them any less sexy at the appropriate time. Prostitutes dress in a certain way because they are looking for a dumbstick response so they can earn money, is it appropriate for women to dress in a similar way? And if they do should society not be critical? Many societies are, but western societies are not. And they have problems with men’s desires as a consequence.

Caveat:- How a woman dresses is not an excuse for rape or violence, when a woman says no she says no an dthta has to be respected. But taking the dumbstick to the edge of satisfaction and then denying is completely unacceptable even though the law enshrines that as a possibility.

Effectively this dismantling of preconceived notions is a recipe for women to have increased control of men’s lustful vulnerability. There is a demand for women to dress sexily, conduct themselves in a manner which would titillate men, and then when that man wants sexual fulfilment the woman says no, and the man legally musts accept this – quite rightly. It is right that he should be expected to stop when she says no, but the woman has a responsibility because sexually her body is a weapon. Because the woman cannot experience being in a man’s body the woman cannot know how powerful her body as a weapon is. “In a broader context, weapons may be construed to include anything used to gain a strategic, material or mental advantage over an adversary,” [Wikipedia search weapon]. Does a woman’s body not do that over the adversary man? This is nature.

Throughout the charter male privilege is spoken of. Within business and the power in society there is evidentially male privilege. This charter decries that privilege, asks that men listen to women, asks men to support feminism and support gender equality but does NOT say what this equality means. Whilst I do not know what was discussed by these “men’s rights activists” the charter does not expect women to listen to men’s grievances whilst explicitly in the charter saying men should listen to women about the experiences of their bodies. “Men who are ignorant about feminism — and even so-called men’s rights activists — often critique feminists for not addressing what they describe as men’s struggles. Some of these issues include the disproportionately high male suicide rate, how the court system regards fathers in custody battles and the perceived abandonment of survivors of sexual violence.” Clearly I am one such man who criticises feminists for not addressing men’s struggles, but further I criticise women as a whole for not so doing.
In this article “fathers in custody battles” there is much that could be discussed, but there is a general tone, in the marital home there needs to be an equalising of roles, not a respect for the different roles but an equalising of roles. This is a fundamental problem of the intellectualism surrounding feminism, it does not investigate the roles of men and women as nature has set out.
In this article on men’s rights activists, there are responses to men’s rights but there is no question of listening. Whilst I understand this because of the conflictual position these men’s groups can take, the reality is that they need to be listened to. In the battle of the sexes no-one is listening.
Rape is presented as a crime of power on tv, power over women. But are there not cases where a man rapes the woman he knows because he wants sex? Because he wants to fulfil his desire? And as in western society where hooking up can mean casual sex for many, if a woman goes to a man’s room what are his expectations? If there is no or even a clear intimation that the woman does not want sex, then the man has to control himself and calm down. But the man should not have been put in that situation. In the following the man should stop but how fair is it? He has been to a club, he has had several drinks. He starts dancing with a girl who also has had several drinks. They have been dancing for a long time, and the final dance is a smoocher – they kiss. The man and woman leave together hand-in-hand, and they go to his room. They kiss and maybe he touches her breast, puts his hand up her dress. His passion is rising and then the woman says no. He has to stop, he would be wrong not to stop, he definitely must stop – however drunk. But what kind of decision is that to be made? Lust and passion have been worked up together – not separately but together. And then the woman decides no. She has used her weapon, his dumbstick vulnerability has jointly been titillated, and then no. This is exploitative, inconsiderate at the least on the part of the woman.

When I was young and drinking I was invited to the flat of a woman to play chess, I had hoped for more. I got to her flat and couldn’t cope with just chess. When she realised she told me to go, and I did. She did nothing wrong. At a later date I was drunk and made a fool of myself in front of her when I expressed my desire. It was all too powerful, luckily I only made a fool of myself and no more. The woman kept her distance after that, she hadn’t known. Again she acted correctly, and I didn’t. But lust and passion in men are so powerful – dumbstick vulnerability.
Bhatti’s poem talks about the horrendous way some music describes women, and if this image is what young men are expecting I have great sympathy with them in how they have to learn self-control. It is a disgrace that men are put through that. Feminists add to this problem by claiming that titillation, being sexual, is a woman’s right.
I do not know whether women get titillated in public but if there are things that men do which titillate then a man should stop doing it. In terms of equality a woman should stop as well, it is only considerate. It is time that western society started to play down its ongoing sexual displays. We have sexual desires but life does not have to be dominated by them. As a young man I would have been horrified at someone suggesting what I have written, but as a young man I spent my life lurching from one effort at controlling hormones to another. Young men are not capable of making such decisions because at their age they do not have control. In western society old men try to pretend they are young, and encourage public titillation but they can cope because their hormones are not as strong. But it creates a situation in which young men are continually vulnerable to their desires. And this causes social problems.
Men are notorious for not questioning but some do, some are self-critical – presumably the men who claim to be feminists. But do women question themselves? When I read the articles by the feminists quoted here I do not see introspection. I do not see women looking to see if what they are doing is wrong. I see attack, intellectual attack. What is the man doing wrong?

Are women introspective? Are women different in the way they analyse? Is there a way that men analyse that is different to the way women do? And if so why are women trying to do it the same way as men? Why are feminists trying to do it the same way?

This leads to a question, what is the way women should be doing it? If women are trying to be intellectual the same way as men is it appropriate? I understand that it is male academia and that is where the power and money is, but should they be doing it the same way? Shouldn’t education have both perspectives and learning occur that way?

It is time that our western societies start to examine how they conduct themselves and more importantly men and women start listening to each other, discuss each other’s needs openly and honestly, and make agreements that they mean.

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I have been considering lately the issue of sexual desire, and when I read this article I was angered by the continued intellectual stagnation demonstrated by the contents.

Male sexual desire is a problem the world over but I think the effects of the problem are much more prevalent in the West because of the nature of western consumerism. I further feel that the lack of resolution of this desire is by political intent – at least to some extent.

What is this problem? There is a desire for sexual satisfaction. This desire can be satisfied out of wedlock, it does not require love. It builds up in young men from their teens, and wanes as a man gets older. For different men there is also a desire for companionship and having children, but all these desires are not constant, they are different in different men. And the problem? What do women do about these desires? This question is fundamental to relationships, and will be discussed in this blog.

Rape is a big problem, and it appears for the younger generation that there is an implied acceptance by most women that they must have sex. If there isn’t a choice then that is rape – a form of rape by social consensus and indoctrination. If it is promiscuity by social imposition then this is just legalised rape.

At the same time within some cultures satisfying the partner’s needs is part of the relationship, within those cultures it is a duty. Basically the women are brought up to believe it is their sexual duty to have sex with their husbands. When younger I met an Indian man, a teacher like myself. His family had some money and position, and his marriage was arranged. When I first met him he was alone and pining for his wife, he became so happy when she and his son eventually joined him it was a pleasure to see. For this family the system of arrangement worked, I hope it still is working. Because they accepted it was their duty to make each other happy they tried.

Compare that with a western relationship, how do people get together? There is no clarity. People meet at discos and parties, and the relationship starts with sexual attraction and how they manage sex; is this sensible? Sometimes there has been a build-up to the party, say for example the office party, where work-based relationships flourish – more stability and depth there. Often there is a relationship established through family and social status (similar to arranged marriages). But it is all extremely messy. The only
constant is that there is a lot of pressure on young people to get into relationships, both natural and social; this is something I saw when teaching in different cultures.

But does western society think about sexual desire other than men lusting for everything in sight? There appears to have grown in the last 30 or 40 years a notion that women lust after men in a similar way that men lust after women; I find this hard to accept. I do not believe male sexual desire is the same as that of a female. Throughout nature there are “courting rituals amongst species” but these rituals are not between likes but a process where male and female interests complement each other. This is not equivalent lust by both. I am concerned that the intellectual concern for equality between the sexes has developed an apparent “lustful” parity in their sexual drives, and such a parity in my view is not natural. If it is not natural it is not stable.

I have one maxim concerning this, if it is natural it is right so somehow it becomes necessary to attempt to determine what is natural. And this is why the feminist charter made me so angry, it never even considers that aspect of nature that women are a part of children and family. So this brings up the question, does feminism represent the interests of women or the interests of society or simply the interests of those feminists?

I need to discuss violence against women; I have mentioned rape already but there is also physical repression by violence. It was these violences that led me to sympathy with feminism when I became a political adult 25 – 30 years ago. Rape is not acceptable, beating your wife is not acceptable but neither is creating such a situation acceptable. If a married man is considering rape or violence then both people in the relationship have to consider the source of that. His desire is almost a complete constant, only diminishing with age, so if rape is on his mind when he is married, why? This is where I feel the lustful parity causes a problem, I do not believe a woman’s lust is the same as the man’s, and if a woman expects only to have sex in order for that lust to be satiated then the relationship will not be stable. Are men innocent? Far from it. But do men in a stable loving relationship become promiscuous, rape or seek prostitutes? In general, no, in promiscuous societies in the West sex outside marriage either consensual or financial is not discouraged, if it leads to family breakdown it is; not getting caught seems acceptable.

This is very much from my male perspective, however much I try to be detached I cannot. I am a man, I have my sexual desires. I am old, and I have never found a satisfactory relationship situation. In the end I realised I had nothing to offer a woman, and to fulfil my spiritual needs I stay alone. I think this is a balanced solution but in the culture I live I am continually questioned. Living alone, where are my children? And it is mostly women who ask this. So how does this fit in with the feminist charter in this article

I decided I had nothing to offer in a relationship. This requires a little explanation but remember you are only getting one side. When I was still trying I paid for a home including a budget, this seemed fair to me. I described what else I wanted and that was agreed. There didn’t have to be agreement but there was. In the end I decided that the agreement was forced. They wanted to live with me and the only way they could do that was to agree with me …. so they did.

To the rational part of me this seems eminently fair but it never worked. So what I was offering was not what was wanted. Why was there agreement? The women hoped they could get what they wanted when they moved in. Life became a battle with their trying to get what they wanted, and my agreement being my benchmark. It never worked.

Significant amongst what I wanted was the peace and time to continue my spiritual develpment. To these women that appeared to matter little yet for me it was more important than a relationship. This was the purpose of the agreements for me. I had hoped the security of the home that they claimed they wanted was enough – it wasn’t. With regards to the limited relationships I had it was never clear to me what was wanted. It seemed that the agreement was a benchmark to push against, a starting point to develop what they wanted from.

I assessed that I could never give them what they wanted. I assessed that the benchmark agreement was a starting point for them to try and get more, and as such there was never a possibility of stability, never a possibiliy for the peace and time to develop spiritually. Because that spiritual drive was stronger in me than lust, stronger than the need for security and whatever else people get from relationships I had no choice but to live alone. Comfortably.

Women tell me I knew the wrong women but did I? I cannot answer that but I have never seen a woman who could accept it. I have met many who say they could but in my view none that could.

For me an essential characteristc of women is to make the best of a situation by “pushing” – inherent instability before a relationship begins. Their lives are spent coping with difficult men, pushing is their way of life.

Now let’s consider the real reason for relationships – children, bringing up the family. And how does this relate to love? A man loves a woman, does a woman love a man? As we grow up our conditioning brings us towards marriage in one way or another. With this a man develops passions for women, the cosmic one, the love of his life, and the woman responds. All her life she has been looking for the right man, the man who will look after her and bear her children. This is very traditional but bearing in mind the feminist article it has more basis in the factual experience of the majority of women than does that of these feminists. Once there is marriage there are children and the relationship between man and woman changes; he is displaced. For that marriage to work – work meaning that they successfully bring up the children – the man has to accept this changing role, and devote himself to the maintenance of the family. In doing this he must work to bring in the money to maintain the family. A man should do this, he should have that discipline but many don’t. In a promiscuous western society men often stray, have affairs, break up their family and lose their homes.

The issue for me, is it just losing discipline? It is understandable that women prioritise their affections towards the children but it appears for some men this prioritising appears exclusive.

Why am I writing this? Firstly I am unlikely to upload it. And more importantly no woman is going to accept any of this. So why write it? I don’t really know. When it comes to certain things women are intractable, this has been my experience. What about truth? As a spiritual person truth is the highest. Where does truth come? Second to what is expedient. If it suits a woman to say she loves, then she says she loves; if it suits her to agree she agrees. The man brings truth to the relationship through his love. Now that is idealistic, very rarely happens, but might well be the truth – I am not sure. Whether he does or not, if it is expedient for the woman it matters not.

Personal

In this blog I am now going to investigate relationships between women and men. To understand where I am coming from here is some personal history – to give perspective.

When I was younger I had great sympathy for the feminist movement hopefully always treating women as equals. When I went to Africa, I had relationships with women there. The culture, and nature of these relationships, were very different. It was Southern Africa where AIDS was prominent, and very simply this was caused by promiscuity. To begin with I found myself overwhelmed by the availability of gorgeous young women for a 42-year-old man. Whilst I had had sexual relationships, mostly serious personal relationships, I moved in circles where sex was not reaidly available. When younger I sought sex and love but I was very independent – this basis was formed by my spiritual needs.

Up until I was 32 I had one meaningful relationship which I initially thought was love. I had a period of maybe two years in which I was “successful” finding different partners in meaningless relationships but mostly I was not sexually satisfied and for me at that time my desire for a meaningful relationship was also not satisfied.

At 33 that changed as I fell completely in love. This relationship was so deep and bitter it altered my relationship goals completely. I was in love but not loved. I became a provider but never found satisfaction. My spiritual desires were dragged down and in the end I was forced to leave after being extremely battered emotionally – feeling the scars for a long time afterwards. In retrospect from the word go I was exploited as I became the provider for the woman and her children, but of course this is just one view of the relationship – from my side. After a couple of years I was still in love but began to assert myself making demands against the exploitation. These were rejected and I left. I would assess that for many my leaving was not socially acceptable as there was a child and 2 teenagers of working age involved, but I was personally suffering and the giving was in one direction. They were left with the home that they failed to maintain, and I had financial burdens as a consequence of this years later.

Following this I still sought sexual relations but not avidly as I was unwilling to be damaged again, and nothing happened. My own hurt and the women I knew through politics meant no sexual interaction. That is not to say political people were not sexually active, it just didn’t work for me.

When I moved to Africa young women actually sought me – for my wallet and the security they thought that brought. I was not looking for love but was hoping for companionship and a pleasant home, African women were very homely – comfortable. All I found was sex and turbulence. That turbulence had enjoyable moments but it was never fulfilling relationship-wise, it was mostly just enjoyable, but risky, sex (AIDS). After Africa there was a brief fling with a Filipina in Oman. Whilst there I had begun to think Asian women were an answer because they had a reputation for a commitment to home.

Later as I became confirmed in my Buddhism I began to believe that religion needed to be at the basis of a relationship, so when I moved to Thailand I moved with hope. But in Thailand I just saw mutual exploitation, the men exploiting the beauty and vitality of the young girls, and the girls taking the men for their money. Obviously there are exceptions but they are few and far between.

In this blog I am making an attempt to look at relationships between the sexes. I believe tradition is nearer an understanding of the way relations work, but that tradition often has culture and family to back it up. Are those traditions close to an understanding of relations? Women and men come to relations with totally different mindsets, mindsets governed by totally different physicalities and emotions. Quite obviously Nature has given women and men different roles in procreation, is it sensible to see equality in everything but procreation?

Feminism came in because of violence, and bullying is never acceptable – bullying of any form. Feminism has changed the way we view genders. The “Victorian” man dominating the home even with the use of violence has been well rid by feminism, at least it is not now socially acceptable. But feminism has brought gender equality, and this appears to me to be an intellectual framework of equality despite natural differences. It is this intellectualism I am primarily attacking here, typical of it is the following interaction. I was discussing with an Australian woman my experiences with the women in Africa, she had never known me there. She came with a preconception of sex tourism. I explained that I had one relationship that was off and on for most of my time, one woman I loved, one woman I cared for, two that were sexual over 6 years. In Australia that track record would not be considered promiscuous even if it was young people exploring, but for her the preconception was all that mattered so after I had opened my heart to explain my relationships she simply said “sex tourism”- an assessment that has ignorance on so many levels. When you have such ignorance being displayed it is no wonder that relationships don’t work. Fundamentally relationships need listening on both parts, and an examination of what is rather than preconceived frameworks that distort. As a man in a relationship I was always the most vulnerable I can be. When in love I was a lost puppy, and in retrospect it seems that love was just used. Being love is the greatest expression a human can give, are men at risk loving women – at risk loving? The world needs love, and the world needs to prepare to accept love. But is it safe to love? ,

At the core we are unity, this is absolute truth. But in life there is separation, and we are on Paths to return to that unity. Are these Paths different for women and men? Traditional religions are dominated by men as teachers and leaders, is it a relative truth that men are spiritual leaders? Or is the practice simply chauvinism?

There are many wise spiritual male leaders but not many women. In Theravada Buddhism this is institutionally defined but is being questioned. Will there be a female pope?

Nature?

What is the nature of woman? Of man? Of both in relationships? Are there roles for women and men based on these natures? Is gender equality financial equality for these roles? Are traditional roles more true to nature dimply that society did not recognise these roles as equal?


I can only get one butter, and as luck would have it it is Anchor New Zealand butter. Look at this from here:-

“When looking for good quality butter, raw and cultured is best. This might be hard to find, however. Organic butter is your next best thing, with store-bought butter being at the bottom. Remember what we’ve said about commercially-raised cows; its worth a few extra cents to get high quality butter for you and your family. A brand of butter available in many markets is Anchor, imported from New Zealand. In this country, all cattle are grass-fed, thus insuring a high nutrient content of their milk, butter, and meat.”

In a country like Thailand (non-dairy eaters) raw and cultured is out, but I can get Anchor.

As for cheese I found my answers on the “Don’t eat saturated fats” pages, but is not one this page is not one. This is what they said about cheese:-

Http:cheesejpeg

Bangkok and Pattaya I can get some of these cheeses, and I might resort to the processed cheddar I can get at Makro. This leads me to another problem, will I go back to the excessive butter and cheese eating? See addendum.

This leads me more or less into

The Mediterranean Diet

This is Jon Barron’s description of the diet (with my gifs!!).

The Mediterranean diet is not “actually” the diet of any country or area; instead, it is “inspired” by the traditional dietary patterns of the peoples of southern Italy, Greece, and Spain. Generally it is regarded to center around high consumption of olive oil, legumes, unrefined cereals, fruits, and vegetables, moderate to high consumption of fish, moderate consumption of dairy products (mostly as cheese and yogurt), moderate wine consumption, and low consumption of meat and meat products.

I would modify that as follows, however:

High consumption of vegetables.
Moderate to high consumption of wild caught fish (if desired…and it’s still available).
Moderate consumption of organic, free-range chicken or turkey (if desired).
Moderate consumption of nuts (if not allergic).
Moderate consumption of fruit.
Moderate consumption of oils and fats such as: Olive oil. Walnut oil. Avocado oil. Coconut oil.
Organic butter from grass fed cows. With supplemental krill oil, squid oil, fish oil, and flax lignans.

Avoid like the plague all manmade trans fats (natural ones are fine) and all ultra-refined, high omega-6 vegetable oils (the kind that can last on your shelf for years without ever going rancid).

Low to moderate consumption of organic, free-range meat and meat products (if desired).
Low consumption of organic, raw dairy products–mostly as yogurt and cheese (if desired).
Low consumption of legumes– and if you eat them, make sure you soak them before cooking, and then cook them well before eating.
Low consumption of unrefined, organic grain products. (Avoid the newer strains of non-organic high gliadin wheat.)
Extremely low (or no) consumption of high glycemic grains, starches, isolated sugars, and any modern, high-gliadin, genetically engineered strains of wheat.

Summary solution:-

This diet looks pretty much 40/20/40. I won’t eat the meat after the duck reaction. When forced I have eaten meat and never had a reaction, maybe it was psychological telling me not to go there as I was testing it. Either way I cannot be sure of free-range so meat is out. Sugar is out. It says low consumption of cheese, that doesn’t sound Mediterranean but there we go. It says low on legumes but I have just reintroduced them into my diet – omitted by oversight; they are moderate consumption – 3 or 4 times a week as it has felt right to eat them. No more wheat (give to Walter), rye bread only; I have seen too many articles on scientists screwing with wheat yield and those scientists were pre-GM.

In my first year in Thailand I made occasional trips to Anna’s on Koh Chang for cheese, maybe I will check those out again.

I’m happy, glands resolved.

Addendum

I have always seen the butter and cheese as excessive when I was vegetarian, but it was usually with toast – TOAST – WHEAT. I am zapping wheat as I have said; moderate cheese and butter on rye bread – OK. More happiness!!

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“Your body requires 6 essential nutrient classes for growth, maintenance, and repair of its tissues. These classes are carbohydrates, protein, fat, vitamins, minerals, and water. Carbohydrates, protein, and fat are the macronutrients. Vitamins, minerals, and water are the micronutrients.” [p96]

Macronutrients 40% carbs, 20% protein, 40% fats.

In the past on diet, I have focused on non-processed. I am guessing my diet was low in fats but I am not sure. I must now look at this balance of macronutrients. I must now look at my diet in terms of carbs protein and fats.

Carbs Proteins Fats
Vegetables Avocadoes/td>
Fruit Eggs
Legumes Butter
Whole Grains olives
animal fats
chocolate
coconut and palm oil

Carbs:-

Good carbs balance insulin, boost glucagon, support thyroid health, and optimize the production of sex hormones and DHEA. All these hormones are essential for you to be fit, radiant, and healthy. Your body needs these good carbs, but we eat far too few of them. [p97]

When you eat low-fiber vegetables, such as potatoes, carrots, or beets, do so in moderation. These starchy vegetables should only be eaten by people who exercise regularly, since they can lead to weight gain. [p100]

Cruciferous vegetables, such as broccoli and cauliflower, help neutralize dangerous estrogen metabolites in men and women. I must provide a word of caution, however; if you suffer from a sluggish thyroid, be aware that certain vegetables (broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, kale, turnips, rutabaga, spinach, and watercress), when eaten raw and in large quantities, can block the uptake of iodine. That can aggravate your condition. [p101]

Fruit – Fructose, which is naturally present in fruit, does not negatively affect insulin levels like glucose. Nevertheless, consuming excessive amounts of fructose (like a glass of a fruit juice) in your bloodstream can be as harmful as eating pure sugar, which your body will store as fat if it isn’t quickly burned off. A fruit juice concentrate can contain as much sugar as a can of soda, and a fresh-squeezed glass of juice (which, stripped of its fiber, no longer slows the delivery of sugar to
the blood) can have even more. For this reason, you can eat whole fruits, but you should eliminate fruit juices from your diet. Don’t drink your calories. Chewing takes longer and ultimately provides more satisfaction. [p101]

Which fruits should you eat? I love cantaloupe, cherries, and all kinds of berries on the Perfect 10 Diet. They’re great for weight loss since they are very low in sugar and calories. Oranges are high in vitamin C and can help balance cortisol, making them a great stress-relieving od. Do you like grapes? Wonderful! They’re rich in resveratrol, which is good for your heart. [p102]

Legumes – Legumes should be part of a healthy diet. Try to eat them 3 to 4 times a week. They’re a good source of carbs and also contain small amounts of protein. In fact, legumes are bona fide belly flatteners. [p102] I don’t eat any I’ve just realised. This is not good, he says 3 or 4 times a week.

Protein

There is protein in plants. I have mussels and salmon, now with the eggs – plenty of protein but I don’t think too much. Will have to watch it. No doubts – my diet is low fat ie less than 40%.

Fats

Makro has given avocadoes, and now olives. If my diet is low in fat then I can take a spoon of coconut oil every day. I do like butter but am suspicious of it. Definitely an egg a day for breakfast, and evening meal fish and salad. What is coconut milk? I think it is healthy fat so that is good. Whilst too much diary is a problem I have no dairy except for the forbidden pizzas. But pizzas are
not good with the refined flour and other refined stuff. Do I want to start healthy cheese again? Smelly cheeses – smelly cheeses from Pattaya or Bkk – so occasionally. On diet when I have eaten forbidden cheese I have not had issues. But that is enough cheese I had some butter today and was not comfortable with it.

Before breakfast I am now having some healthy coconut oil.

“1. Saturated Fat (Excellent)

Saturated fat is found in coconut and palm oils, dairy products, and in animal products to some degree. Probably the single greatest nutritional myth of past decades has been that saturated fat is unhealthy. A huge body of research published in respected medical journals shows the exact opposite is true. Sadly, the majority of people never hear about it.

Eating foods rich in saturated fat, such as eggs and butter, boosts the production (and thereby the effects) of hormones whose structures are built upon cholesterol. These are the steroid hormones, which include the female and male sex hormones estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Sex hormones keep you looking young, enhance sex drive, and prevent wrinkles and osteoporosis.” [p119]

“Saturated fat is also needed for the production of adrenal sex hormones like DHEA. DHEA is a hormone that prevents autoimmune diseases. It has been linked to longevity and also enhances your sex drive. Imagine the harm you’re doing to yourself when you deprive your body of these good fats.” And now to win the droop brigade:- “As you incorporate saturated fat back into your diet, don’t be ashamed or surprised if your sexual partner starts to complain about your high sex drive. That’s a sign of good sex hormones levels.” [p120]

“Saturated fat is also needed for the proper functioning of your cells. Saturated fat improves the body’s proper absorption and conversion of essential fatty acids like omega-3 fatty acids. Saturated fat is also needed for calcium to be deposited into the bones.” [p120]

I note two things from this ([p119]). Saturated fats are found in animal products to some degree, so in view of the problems of antibiotics this minimal healthy fat can be ignored. But they can be found in dairy products, so the question comes back “where can I get healthy dairy products?” The answer to that cannot change – western shopping in Bkk and Pattaya – maybe mail order? So it leads to another question, assuming 40% fats is right where do the Thais get their fat? Kanom – sweets. Mango black sticky rice and coconut milk. Problem – Thai people are getting fat. It is not just westernisation so have to be careful of “kanom”. How much do they use palm oil? Where is good palm oil?

“Cocoa butter is a saturated fat found in cocoa beans and is used for making chocolate. Eat some dark chocolate made with cocoa butter. It will help you feel full. Chocolate is made out of the cocoa butter and the cacao beans. The beans lost their name cacao in translation and became cocoa. On the Perfect 10 Diet, look for organic dark chocolate that is at least 70 percent cocoa. The higher the percentage of cocoa found in chocolate, the better it is for your cardiovascular health. Just be vigilant about the chocolate’s sugar content.” [p123] How can I find this? I have raw cacao beans – use them more. Maybe check for some dark chocolate although it will probably be sugar chocolate.

Back on the butter. Much of the cheese has to be dismissed because it is rubber cheese – processed. So what is the harmful stuff with butter processing? OK the milk will be crap – pasteurised, but all the cheese will use pasteurised milk. Rubber cheese looks shit, is that a judge? Should I check if it bounces? 🙂 🙂 Not serious.

Glycemic Index (GI):-

This guy sees white food as worse than sugars and he hates sugars – interesting; he discusses the Glycemic Index [p99]. Good carbs, veg, fruit and whole grains, have low GI; interestingly for mb potatoes has high GI. High GI means sugar therefore more insulin thus inhibiting glucagon leading to fat.

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“In this book, I discuss ten hormones. You will learn where each of the ten hormones is manufactured in the body, the normal levels for those hormones, which foods help boost or balance hormone levels, and which foods disrupt or disturb hormone levels. The ten hormones are insulin and glucagon, which affect food storage; leptin, which affects satiety and gives you a feeling of fullness; growth hormone, which helps you grow and repair muscles and tissues; cortisol and thyroxine, which affect energy levels; dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), which relieves fatigue and improves your overall sense of well-being; and the sex hormones estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, which affect weight, fertility, libido, and aging.”

The Perfect 10 hormones are:-

insulin and glucagon food storage
leptin feeling of fullness
growth hormone grow – repair muscles and tissues
cortisol and thyroxine energy levels
dhea fatigue and well-being
estrogen, progesterone and testosterone weight, fertility, libido and ageing

The Perfect 10 Diet ensures that your body receives the right nutrient load, which is 40 percent carbohydrates, 40 percent fat, and 20 percent protein. [p31]

I shall go through the glands chakra by chakra:-

Crown – Pineal – “If you have excess cortisol in your bloodstream, this shuts down serotonin, a neurotransmitter that affects your mood. When serotonin levels drop, depression can result. Depression is now on the rise nationally, even in children. Next, excess cortisol reduces your production of melatonin, the sleep hormone secreted by a small gland called the pineal gland. A drop in melatonin leads to insomnia.” [p86]

“If you don’t get enough sleep, you won’t make enough HGH, the hormone that keeps you fit and young, since it is produced mostly during sleep.”

Head – Pituitary – Human Growth Hormone (HGH)If you’re on the Atkins Diet, which is way too high in fat, this simply shuts down growth hormone, which is the hormone that keeps you young. Do doctors routinely check for growth hormone levels? Of course not. [p44]

HGH declines with age …. Body fat is a great inhibitor of the HGH secretion. HGH levels rise when
you fast, a response to the days when humans were dependent on an unstable food supply.
” [p84]

“Why does HGH play a role in immunity? Because HGH helps grow the thymus gland, a gland in the chest that makes T-cells, the cells responsible for fighting infections.” [p 85]

“Once you begin to eat the right amounts of protein, incorporate exercise in your daily life, lose weight, and get adequate sleep, your HGH level will go up.”[p85]

“If you don’t get enough sleep, you won’t make enough HGH, the hormone that keeps you fit and young, since it is produced mostly during sleep.” [p86]

“FOODS AND OTHER FACTORS THAT CAN HELP BALANCE GROWTH HORMONE INCLUDE: vegetables, fruits, poultry, eggs, fish, anaerobic exercise, weight loss, and fasting.” [p85]

Throat – thyroid – “The Atkins Diet is also bad for your thyroid, as it encourages a high-protein lifestyle. Too much protein can shut down the thyroid hormone from converting to its active form. Thyroid hormone is a major hormone that keeps you fit. It controls your whole life, not just your metabolism. If you’re on the South Beach Diet, which favors manufactured polyunsaturated oils such as corn and soybean, the thyroid gland is also negatively affected. Polyunsaturated oils in their free fatty acid state also interfere with the conversion of thyroid hormone into its active form. ” [p44]

“This gland is found in the neck just below the thyroid cartilage (known as the Adam’s apple in men), and it is controlled by the brain’s hypothalamus and pituitary. An underactive thyroid makes your metabolism slow to a crawl, which can make you gain weight even if you don’t eat much. Thyroid hormone has actions beyond metabolism and keeping you fit: it provides energy, improves thinking abilities, boosts the immune system against infections and cancer, decreases bad cholesterol, and lowers blood pressure.” [p82]

“Leptin is the master hormone that helps regulate thyroid. In times of starvation, leptin levels fall, signaling the thyroid and other hormones to switch into conservation mode. Metabolism slows down, body temperature lowers, and vital nutrients are conserved. But leptin resistance from refined carbs and excess sugar distorts the signals this hormone sends to the thyroid gland and the rest of the body, and may direct well-fed, and even overweight, individuals into fat-storage mode.” [p83]

FOODS THAT CAN BALANCE THYROID HORMONE INCLUDE: sea salt (in moderation), fish, shellfish, and sea vegetables, particularly seaweed. The iodine that is naturally present in the right amounts in these food groups is essential for the proper function of the thyroid gland. When you also eat enough fruits and vegetables, the “safe” types of carbohydrates, you increase production of thyroxine.” [p84]

Heart – Parathyroid – “Why does HGH play a role in immunity? Because HGH helps grow the thymus gland, a gland in the chest that makes T-cells, the cells responsible for fighting infections.

Solar Plexus – Pancreas – InsulinInsulin is the fat-storing hormone secreted whenever our bodies are called upon to metabolize food, and it’s secreted in higher amounts when the food you consume contains sugar or your diet is high in bad carbs (Fig. 1.1). When you follow a low-fat diet, your pancreas will work overtime to secrete more and more insulin in order to deal with all that excess sugar. Why? Because sugar is damaging to your tissues, so your body must deal with it right away to expel it from your bloodstream. As your pancreas secretes massive amounts of insulin—more than you need—to store the sugars, your body forms triglycerides, or fat molecules, and you gain weight. When triglyceride levels rise, your risk for heart disease rises right along with them.” [p37]

FOODS AND FACTORS THAT HELP BALANCE INSULIN INCLUDE: chromium, a trace mineral that enhances insulin function, and is found in brewer’s yeast, whole-grain breads, meats, eggs, and shellfish. Zinc is also important, and it is present in seafood and dark meats. Exercise is also essential to lowering your insulin levels and losing weight. [p80]

Solar Plexus – Pancreas – glucagon – “Glucagon is another hormone secreted by the pancreas. It performs the exact opposite function of insulin—it melts fat. When glucagon metabolizes your fat into energy, you lose weight. When food is available, glucagon production is inhibited.” [p80]

FOODS AND FACTORS THAT BALANCE AND INCREASE GLUCAGON INCLUDE: a diet low in sugar that features natural fats and sufficient protein. Skipping meals, which is not recommended on the Perfect 10 Diet, also increases glucagon, as does starvation (which, needless to say, is absolutely not recommended). Exercise also increases glucagon production. [p81]

Leptin – secreted from fat cells. Sugar Busters favors fake fats such as margarine. However, I just discussed the dangers of trans fats. This diet ends up messing up sex hormones. It is the sex hormones that keep you fit and young. This diet similarly disturbs leptin, the hormone that controls hunger.[p44]

“Leptin manages how much fat is stored around the organs and under the skin. When fat cells are filled with an abundance of food, more leptin is secreted, and the leptin enters the brain to curb your appetite.” [p81]

FOODS THAT CAN HELP BALANCE LEPTIN INCLUDE: vegetables, fruits, whole grains, foods containing natural fats, and fish. [p82]

Tan tien – Gonads – sex hormonesSugar Busters favors fake fats such as margarine. However, I just discussed the dangers of trans fats. This diet ends up messing up sex hormones. It is the sex hormones that keep you fit and young. This diet similarly disturbs leptin, the hormone that controls hunger.
[p44]

Tan tien – Oestrogen and progesterone – female hormones – “Oestrogen also stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, increases alertness, lowers body fat, protects against heart and Alzheimer’s disease, increases
insulin sensitivity, and improves glucose tolerance.” [p88]

“Oestrogen sensitizes the male brain, and too little oestrogen can effectively neuter a man. However, in men, excess estrogen is the real problem, especially as we get old. Too much caffeine and obesity can lead to overproduction of this female sex hormone instead of testosterone, the male sex hormone. Insecticides in our food chain have also contributed to the phenomenon of excess estrogen in men.” [p90]

“Men also synthesize progesterone, which is the precursor of testosterone (the male sex hormone) in smaller amounts. The decline of progesterone in males plays a role in increasing the conversion rate of testosterone into another hormone, dihydrotestosterone (DHT). Excess DHT as we age stimulates the proliferation of prostate cells, which enlarges the prostate gland and narrows the urethral channel, leading to urination problems.” [p90]

FOODS AND OTHERS FACTORS THAT BALANCE ESTROGEN AND PROGESTERONE INCLUDE: eggs, butter, fish, poultry, whole milk, and weight loss. [p90]

Tan tien – Testosterone – “Adequate testosterone levels prevent heart disease, and testosterone has no link whatsoever to prostate cancer. In adult males, testosterone is necessary to maintain muscle mass and strength, bone mass, normal hair growth, libido, and sperm production. It also keeps us fit and lean. You can’t attain that ideal (BZ – male physique) unless you eat foods that support this important hormone, such as animal products and cholesterol-rich foods.”[p91]

FOODS AND OTHER FACTORS THAT BOOST TESTOSTERONE PRODUCTION INCLUDE: eggs, liver, butter, fish, poultry, and frequent sexual activity. (Author: Isn’t that an added bonus?) Weight loss can also increase levels. [p92]

Root Chakra – Adrenals – cortisol – a stress hormone – This major hormone keeps us alive thanks to its three essential and powerful properties: it increases blood sugar levels (and thus energy levels), raises blood pressure, and neutralizes inflammation.

As insulin is secreted in higher amounts on a low-fat diet, blood sugar plummets. That’s where the cortisol link comes in. In primitive times, cortisol was called upon only when we encountered stressful situations, such as running from predators. It gives us quick energy to run from danger. But today, cortisol is called upon each time your sugar levels plummet after eating a cookie, drinking soda, or consuming any other sugary food or drink. This creates chronic high levels of cortisol. This leads to insulin secretion to deal with the sugar; then, insulin resistance follows. [p86]

“If you have excess cortisol in your bloodstream, this shuts down serotonin, a neurotransmitter that affects your mood. When serotonin levels drop, depression can result. Depression is now on the rise nationally, even in children.” [p86]

“Next, excess cortisol reduces your production of melatonin, the sleep hormone secreted by a small gland called the pineal gland. A drop in melatonin leads to insomnia.” [p86]

FOODS AND OTHER FACTORS THAT CAN HELP BALANCE CORTISOL HORMONE INCLUDE: vegetables, fruits, fish, eggs, poultry, and occasionally some red meat. Try your best to relax and avoid stressful situations. [p87]

Root Chakra – Adrenals – DHEA – “Levels of DHEA decline with age; a 70-year-old produces about 10 percent of the DHEA levels produced by a 20-year-old.” [p87]

“DHEA naturally increases serotonin, which tells your brain when you’ve had enough to eat and inhibits the conversion of glucose into fat. DHEA also protects against arteriosclerosis and lowers insulin.” [p87]

FOODS THAT HELP BOOST DHEA PRODUCTION INCLUDE: vegetables, fruits, poultry, eggs, and saturated fats such as butter.

There are some useful summary tables on p93 – maybe to follow?

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Mine is the only way

With my hormone problem I have been trying to find out more about the relationship between hormones and nutrition. What has been disappointing has been the lack of information coming from my traditional sources – my usual sources of nutritionists and macrobiotics. In general I would assess their approach as being “if you take care of the diet the hormones will take care of themselves”. Whilst I agree with that in the long-term what do you do in the short term about hormone issues? One way is to go Chinese as TCM recognises hormone issues – although surprisingly Paul Pitchford, who writes much about TCM, has little to say about the hormones.

To start investigating hormones and nutrition I got into the book “The Perfect 10 diet”, and this has a lot to offer connecting the hormones (10
hormones) and nutrition. Unfortunately there is much to warn about in terms of the book along the lines of “Mine is the only way”. Throughout its reading flags were raised but I persevered because I was learning; but it was when I read this that I decided to write this caveat before anything else:-

Is It Healthy to Be a Strict Vegetarian?

That’s an easy question to answer: no. ” [p 116]

What is the tone of this? To turn people off vegetarianism. But in fact the only emphasis that he should be using in terms of his diet is the word “strict”:-

“I know we are constantly told that vegetarians live longer than people who eat meat, but this is a myth. Vitamin B12, which is present in animal products, is an important vitamin that is needed to lower homocysteine, a marker of heart disease.” [p116]

Is it a myth? I don’t believe it is but I have no evidence – and the author gives none. I was vegetarian on and off for a long while, but because I wasn’t health conscious I ended up with GERD. I am convinced of the benefits of a plant-based diet as is the Perfect 10 author, but I am now not a strict vegetarian.

B12 is a well-known vegetarian issue, apologies to Christine because of all the trouble she had but my favourite story is Christine Pirello’s story. Any vegetarian has to deal with B12, it appears some less than others. Once I became health-conscious I decided to eat some shell-fish, to be honest I have never been convinced of the purely-vegetarian solutions. I take some vitamin pills but am not convinced by anything produced in a factory. And there are too many arguments that the synthetic B12 cannot be properly ingested. Can the B12 in eggs provide what is needed? When I decided on fish I was not eating eggs – I hadn’t found the free-range eggs, maybe eggs can provide.

“Vegetarian diets are often high in carbohydrates, which can lead to exaggerated insulin secretions. A high insulin level equals getting fat.” [p116] I have no problem accepting this is true. Reducing a mainly-vegetarian diet to 40% quality carbs is probably not an issue – discussed later, it therefore is not necessary to dismiss vegetarianism contentiously.

“A vegetarian diet is also too low in fat. The greatest advantage of a diet with adequate fat intake is what it does to your sex hormones. A cholesterol-rich diet yields more sex hormones than a vegetarian diet. For guys, a body of research indicates that a diet with 40 percent of its calories from fat yields more testosterone than one with 30 percent of its calories from fat. The latest research clearly supports my diet plan. Strict vegetarians can develop a sluggish thyroid since their diet may be too low in protein, and an underactive thyroid equals weight gain. A diet low in protein may not support HGH production, the hormone that keeps you young and fit.” [p116]

I note here that in her conclusion Christine Pirello talked of increasing good quality fat.

Here is where it is getting “technical” for me. I think my diet (prior to the hormone issue) was too low in fat, but as a vegetarian I ate too much cheese and butter. I know that was not healthy but was it too low in fat? I haven’t fully come to terms with 40% fats yet (Perfect 10 says 40% carbs, 20% protein, and 40% fats), but I suspect the issue is not so much fat-intake as healthy fat-intake. Tons of processed cheese and butter is not healthy – my previous problem. For a vegetarian not to have 20% protein would have to be extreme, basically again a vegetarian who is not health-conscious so I don’t accept this crit either. I suspect mainly-vegetarian could be managed as 40/20/40, so the issue is to be hormone-conscious – and not to reject vegetarianism.

When he was contentious about veggies I decided to write this caveat, so here comes the other issues. Quite rightly he points out the issues of processed foods. In fact he pointed out something that I found very interesting concerning “white” foods, he says these refined foods badly affect insulin production – more than white sugar. I have always been conscious of white foods, here is a medical reason for that. I am never happy whenever I am forced to eat white foods – I usually carry my own cooked brown rice when eating out – even more so as I am now eating rice n peas. Processed foods are toxic so he spends time eschewing them. But what about antibiotics in meat? Does that mean perfect 10 people have healthy hormones and damaged livers? He mentions antibiotics in passing, but then he recommends duck. I am not a meat eater but by choice – not by hatred. I tried the duck and was almost sick. If perfect 10 means eating meat I’m out, but it doesn’t. Following his recommended meal schedule is out for me because there is too much meat, and unless you have a source of free-range meat I say the same to you. On [p116] he discusses animal fats “Animal fat has nothing to do with heart disease. It’s the manufactured fats, not the natural fats, that contribute to heart disease”.

But his style of writing is not inclusive of other dietary approaches, I definitely read him as someone who sees his way as the only way. I have not comne to terms properly with 40/20/40 as I don’t see my foods in terms of carbs protein and fats to know which percentages apply. My hormones were screwed and needed balancing. Acupuncture began that but my diet needs to address it. Readng his book is helping me decide, but in truth his diet recommendations are out the window as I have no source of healthy meat. One of my blogs will be about changing nutrition so hopefully it will be resolved. At the moment I don’t know how, because I don’t know how to get healthy fats.

He appeals to macho men, but men with huge glams are a disaster waiting to happen when they lose their fitness. Testosterone is only one of the 10 hormones, and to interest men in hormones you talk testosterone – so they can get it up. But testosterone is part of a package that should not be ignored – yet not emphasised.

I also recall that he recommends using artifical hormones but I haven’t got a quote so I am including it here as a possible caveat – if this sentence is not amended you know I didn’t find anything. I have one experience with artificial hormones – cortisone cream. Never again do I want to take hormones, it does not feel natural – and that’s my benchmark.

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Two Chakra Triangles


This is an adaptation of chakra meditations that I have picked up – somewhere!

Lower Triangle

Ths connects the root chakra, the tan tien and the kidney – adrenals. You start by breathing in red through the root chakra at the base of the spine and moving the red energy to the front of the tan tien area – the spleen chakra (3 inches below the belly button). Then you breathe in orange through the tantien and move the red-orange energy to the kidney and adrenal region above the small of the back – ming men in Chinese. From ming men you move the energy back to the root chakra where you start the cycle again. You build an energy loop that will stengthen the kidneys and adrenal system.

Upper Triangle

You start by breathing in lavendar through the crown chakra (pineal gland), move the energy a short distance to the pituitary gland where you breathe in light blue. Then you move the energy through to the hypothalamus where you then move the energy back to the crown chakra. You build an energy loop that will build up the connections between the two glands and the hypothalamus, and because of their roles in the endocrine system this upper triangle should improve the hormonal control for the whole body.

See inset of upper triangle here:-

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